I took a little break from writing.
I didn’t fall off the earth, well not physically anyway. I did fall into a space of less doing and more being. Allowing myself to not have to “produce” just for producing sake or because all the business books tell you that you must do this or that to be successful.
I took a little holiday hiatus (mostly) from social media, writing my blog, and creating programs. I allowed myself to take a break from trying so hard.
I have always been a “do-er” and only felt valuable when I had something to “show for it” or when I “earned my keep”.
I realized I just had to stop doing for doing’s sake. I can’t explain it. It wasn’t planned in advance. It just happened. I continued to see my amazing clients (I love them so!), but that was pretty much it.
As I began to come out of my hibernation and do some visioning and planning for what next, I realized how critical it is for my heart and soul to be allowed to lead the way. I had gotten caught back up in “actioning” my way through life and leading with my mind.
I have spent my whole life, including as a business owner, pushing, striving, “trying to make sh&% happen”. It’s pretty exhausting, even when it’s something you love.
My heart was crying out for me to stop trying so hard and instead allow the flow of the Universe, of God, the Divine, Spirit to lead. To create, write and serve this community, my clients, my friends, my family and myself from that energy.
I have had glimpses of being in the flow, and in fact some of my favorite programs were birthed out of moments of Divine inspiration (The Passion Starter Series and Soothe Your Soul Retreats), but soon my mind would take over and start trying to force things into something more logical or do it in a way I had learned in a course or from a book. I would cut the flow off just when it was getting juicy.
Being in the flow requires a key ingredient – presence. The presence (or awareness of the present moment) allows the messages, the wisdom, the inner knowing of the Divine to come pouring through without effort.
Our mind hates this! It doesn’t like flowing. It likes pushing, directing and trying to make things all neat, tidy and conforming. Mostly, it likes to be in charge.
It gets really combative when the heart begins to lead. The mind comes up with all kinds of stories and propaganda to talk us out of the insight, inspiration or instinct we had. I know you have had this experience, too. Later you say, “I knew I should’ve or shouldn’t have done xyz”.
I spent the last two months in a bit of a battle for leadership between my very strong mind and my ever-expanding awareness of myself as Spirit. My Higher Self knew it was time to stop living, working and trying to create from my mind. But my mind was not quite ready to give up the keys to the car. This was an inner battle and while it was raging a bit, I found myself in this place of just stopping.
As we find ourselves in the beginnings of the new year…I have been thinking about my experience these and how most of people are focusing on resolutions, fresh starts, new beginnings, and overall “changing of habits”.
It is our go to modus operandi for the new year; to put life back into a neat and tidy box of discipline and getting “back on track”.
More than ever in my life I am realizing that just doesn’t really work, at the new year or any other time.
It sounds great on the surface, but from my experience underneath it’s a lot of pushing, efforting, judgment, fear and ultimately pain. It is very mind/ego driven and often Soul crushing.
Our heart and Soul…the real us…is still crying out to lead, for something softer, with more ease and grace. It’s crying out for us to allow our innate Divine messages, ideas, inspirations and wisdom to come through us. It’s begging us to stop the madness…to stop forcing, pushing and trying so damn hard.
So instead of declaring more resolutions and new beginnings, how about we do something totally radical…
Jump off the track, out of the box and into the flow.
The flow of being.
The flow of being present in this moment.
The flow of allowing ourselves to sense, hear, and know what FEELS right for us in this moment and trusting it, going with it.
The flow of trusting that we will know what to say, not say, do, or not do.
The flow of knowing we are Divine beings and our inner wisdom can be trusted even if we don’t understand it in the moment.
The flow of knowing that ultimately it is All Good!